Category Archives: Relationships

The Wisdom of Shadows

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My mind is like a river giving birth to itself at final thaw. It’s as if I can hang my curiosity up on an invisible hook and simply observe: the mysterious, the mundane, a silent conversation with the night. Admittedly, I have been both too careful and careless with life. Conversely, I’ve found myself chained by shame, guilt, regrets. I have fruitlessly measured myself against others and measured them against myself.

Each of us, if we’re truly honest, if we peer into the reflecting glass of our souls, might have the good fortune to see who we are and who we might be. It is a brew of madness and light. An antique piece of crystal or glass is only valued at its worth with an obvious chip or crack in it.

What we choose not to hide from ourselves is the angelic force that we sometimes see as demonic. What good does it do to deny or condemn that which pulses through our emotional veins? It makes you, you. It makes me, me. And we are all perfect in the eyes of the Divine, God, Goddess, All-That-Is.

Something has seeded from birth within each of us, small, vulnerable, beyond powerful. Its beauty is cracked and crystallized by time, experience, and hopefully, wisdom. It allows us to quietly sit with the loamiest, deepest parts of ourselves. Cradle these parts, sing sweet lullabies to them. These are parts which may have been denied or made wrong by upbringing, culture, peer influence. They linger outside the door of acceptance, timidly tapping for admittance. Open that door and it offers healing. It may arrive as sweet, silent, squawking, terrified, courageous, uncertain, questing and questioning. But open that door, welcome it, and it returns to you, you return to it.

Say, ‘Welcome, self.’ Those shadows crookedly hung in the dark corners of have great wisdom to share. And always, always with love.

Reaching Your Peak in 2018: Saturn in Capricorn

qtq80 Lcw48M 150x150 - Reaching Your Peak in 2018: Saturn in CapricornYou’re sitting at the foot of a mountain. At your side, wiry and steady, Saturn the Timekeeper is neatly folding up the multi-hued garb of Sagittarius the Philosopher that he’s worn for 3 years. On 12/19/2017, he will be donning the commanding robes of Capricorn until 12/17/2020.

“I have 3 questions for you,” he says, in a voice like quiet thunder. “One: How have you proved yourself to yourself this year?” Two: What new beliefs can you can commit to and live by as a result?” Three: “Are you ready to climb this mountain?”

You look up, straining your vision. The mountain, defined by stark shadows and hungry light, is tattooed by the fall and rise of twisting paths. Dense clouds bodyguard its peak. Simultaneously, you’re struck by twin jolts of emotional lightning-excitement and fear.

Say “yes,” to the challenge of Saturn in Capricorn, and you earn self-respect, dignity and wisdom. Remain at the base of the mountain and emotional arthritis may well set in. You know which choice is right for you.

Standing, you strap on your backpack. It is sturdy and well equipped with determination, focus and faith. In parting, Saturn presses a small bottle into your hand. It is unbreakable and will never run dry. It is filled with the elixir of courage.

Now, your first step. Beneath your feet, the mountain trembles, a growl of welcome. There is no turning back. Nor would you want to.

Eagle-eyed Saturn squints into hazy sun as you ascend. He knows that you will succeed.

So do I.

In fierce joy and celebration,


Prepare for this extraordinary journey and 2018 with an Evolutionary Astrology reading.
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Conscious Listening is Active Loving

I admit it, I jump to conclusions. I overlook details. Sometimes I move too quickly. This is the shadow side of my Sagittarian nature, constantly restless, exploratory, on the road to the next adventure. Admittedly, this can have some gypsy magic to it…and it can also drive people nuts.

Listening is a skill associated with the planet Mercury. Paying attention to the details is yet another Mercury function. When we listen, we show that we care, that we have interest in and respect for what others are saying. This demonstrates that we’re truly paying attention.

Most of us have probably had an ultimately frustrating experience like this: You’re sharing a story with a friend that’s important to you. They appear to be paying attention and listening. But when you finish, they look at you blankly. It seems as if they’ve listened, but have actually spaced out instead. Their vacant gaze says it all, or their haste to change the subject. If you’re checking out someone as serious love material, would that response be a turn-on? Not!

Conscious listening requires concentration and discipline. There are a million distractions from sun-up to sun-down. At one point I realized that I couldn’t multi-task anymore. The phone conversations that I used to be able to have while checking email, paying bills or even watering the plants are no longer possible. I wasn’t being fully present. This wasn’t just Sagittarian scatteredness, but the old, bad belief that the person on the other end of the phone wouldn’t notice. When I’d hang up, I wouldn’t be satisfied. The connection hadn’t really been made.

Don’t forget, we’re part animal. Animals know instinctively how to be present. That instinctive part of us tells us if we’re being listened to or not. So even if you find yourself on the receiving end of a conversation with someone who is about as interesting as dirt to you, make their day–for a minute or two, genuinely listen. Ask questions. Take in their answers. There was probably a time in your life when someone felt exactly the same way about you…and perhaps their kindness, their ability to listen, made all of the difference.

The more that we’re heard, the more that we feel connected…to ourselves and others. I know a wonderful man who usually considers himself invisible and unimportant. A group of friends gathered together to celebrate his 60th birthday with a surprise party. He arrived at his apartment that night, arms full of groceries for one, when the lights went on and everyone yelled, “Surprise!”

Here’s the topper: for gifts, each friend had decided to share a memory of why this man was so special to them. Mercury is the storyteller and, as the birthday celebrant listened, he both wept and laughed. He felt seen and acknowledged. Since that birthday, he’s come out of his shell. A woman too shy to approach him before the party was one of the friends who shared. Now they’re together.

So make a difference. Listen. Listen with love. You just might learn something yourself.

Posted By Joyce Van Horn on Wed Oct 7 19:09:21

Nobody’s Right if Everybody’s Wrong:Saturn-Uranus

During the current Saturn-Uranus opposition, it feels as if you’ve been drafted against your will into a  tug-of-war that is virtually unwinnable. You step on someone’s toes. The other person reacts. She’s certain that you’re wrong and you’re certain that you’re right. Tension builds. So do irritations and accusations. You stall out, not having made any progress. But that can change!

Saturn is the conservative planet of tried-and-true. It’s been there, done that. It asks,“why change if the old ways work?” Rebellious Uranus sarcastically rejoinders, ” If change didn’t happen, we might still be living in caves and eating wooly mammoths for dinner.” These two planets aren’t at war, but as they oppose one another, extreme tension occurs. Yet compromise is possible.

If you’re feeling frustrated or rebellious now, try to meet the problem or person half-way. It’s likely that there’s something you can learn from one another. Perhaps, as you work the tension, it becomes creative, thus co-creating the most positive outcome possible.

Build higher ceilings of consciousness upon the strong bones of the past that will hold their weight. Notice how they illuminate each other. Engage in this time with curiosity and a willingness to listen. Work together in interesting ways. This will be far more rewarding than to make each other wrong.

Freedom & Rules: Uranus vs. Saturn

Some rules still need to be observed as Saturn commands, “Toe the line!” Wild child Uranus deliberately smudges the line. Does this mean war? Not necessarily. Hate your boss but love your job? Breathe deep and stick your tongue out when they’re not looking. Need to get a move on but feeling sunk in obligatory quicksand? Step out of those old shoes. Saturn creates structure. Uranus is the wind of authenticity blowing up the outdated structure. Power struggles result because both energies boast their superiority.  Neither is; they need each other. What to do? Stand your ground but have soft knees so that you can bend. When you’re looking someone in the eye and know that you’re right, remember that they probably feel the same way.

Are you in your true authority or just rooted to the old way due to fear? Dare you make up new rules rather than throw dishes against the wall just to let it all out? How did you manage these same opposing energies in February of 2009? This is your chance to make a statement of authentic authority. Own it, live it, do it!