Whether you’re in like or in love, words, intentions and gestures get misinterpreted. You’re certain that you’re being clear and the other person looks at you as if you’re speaking Na’ Vi. At that point, there’s disconnection.
We all want to connect. That’s a Venus need. We all want to be understood. That’s a Mercury need. Try out these time-tested tips on how to stay connected and clear. Use ’em–they work!
Breathe! Inhale deeply and slowly through your nose. Exhale mindfully and slowly through your mouth. This is especially helpful if you’re feeling agitated, or you’re tempted to simply give a frustrated blart.
Be mindful: notice how you are in the moment—for example, “I notice that I’m going fast right now. I’m agitated with my friend/partner because I can’t reach or feel him/her. I think I’ll stop for a minute and give him/her a hug.”
Appreciate: If your pal or honey is bugging you, start thinking about something you appreciate about him/her. Then notice how your energy shifts.
Listen from Your Heart: Don’t interrupt the other person, stay present.
a) One person at a time takes a turn speaking while the other one listens.
b) Each person speaks without being interrupted.
c) Speak from your own truth—don’t generalize about or assume anything about what’s true for the other person.
d) Speak from your own perspective (this is a Mercury function).
e) Own your feelings (the Moon). When you have an opinion about what the other person has said or done, begin your sentence with, “I feel (this way) when you do/say (this thing).”
It is irrelevant whether or not you agree or disagree with what someone is saying. What matters is that you listen carefully and accept what is being said as his or her reality.
Curiosity – If you sense that something is going on with your mate but they’re not saying anything about it, gently ask them if something’s going on for them. And come from a place of curiosity, not being right or wrong. If they’re feeling sensitive or insecure, they’ll respond to this loving approach much more readily. (A Mercury function)
I’ve tried this within my own relationships and it really works. It takes some discipline (Saturn) and faith (Jupiter). So if you’re having problems getting on the same page, give it a shot.