Tag Archives: divorce

Cardinal Crossroads of Change: What It Means for You

Okay, ladies and gents…we’re counting down the days till showtime. If you were born around the beginning of  Aries, Cancer, Capricorn or Libra (or have planets or angles in the early degrees of those signs), y’all have front row seats. The biggest lightning storm ever is a-brewin’. You’re breathing in raw tension just about now, pushing buttons and getting yours pushed. There’s an electric, pungent energy building. If you were a cat, you’d be arching your back. It’s the call to battle at dawn. What’s gotta go needs to get gone: relationships that don’t work, jobs that don’t matter, fibs that you’re supposed to believe.

Tense and intense strological energies are gathering, building up to peak pressure from June 26 to August 5 (and most potent on July 29th). Somethin’s gotta blow. It’ll be stinky, but it’ll also be a helluva relief.

Four planetary forces will be facing-off, forming a Grand Cardinal Cross http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_cross_(astrology)  Shamanic Pluto in exacting Capricorn summons forth a part of you that’s been banished in the shadows. Own it consciously and claim your power. Be in your truth, no matter who stands in judgment of you, as extremist Uranus in “me first” Aries gallops sidesaddle with Jupiter the Preacher.  Pioneering Mars in relational Libra impatiently taps the accelerator, while passenger Saturn gets focused on how to get where you need to be. Act with integrity and learn to love the word “no.” Lastly, acknowledge and release where you’ve been too tentative, sensitive or reactive (the South Node in Cancer) and focus on where you need to develop your inner authority (the North Node in Capricorn).

This may sound like a ten-car pile-up (and parts of it will be messy), but this is the kick-off point for positive change. Let’s be frank: what part of your life needs to be opened up and cleared out, like an attic suffocated by dust? Take the risk. Open the door. Be realistic–don’t horde what’s familiar but no longer has value. Dump what keeps you small or limits your aliveness. Shine the  light of awareness on forgotten treasures.  Be the judge of  your own truth, stick by it and don’t fail your dreams. You’re some kind of special. Admit it.

So go get ’em, ladies and gents. The curtain’s about to rise. And guess who the star is? You are, of course.

storm a comin1 1 - Cardinal Crossroads of Change: What It Means for You
Big Storm a-brewin'

Love, Listen, Connect: Practical Tips

Whether you’re in like or in love, words, intentions and gestures get misinterpreted. You’re certain that you’re being clear and the other person looks at you as if you’re speaking Na’ Vi. At that point, there’s disconnection.

We all want to connect. That’s a Venus need. We all want to be understood. That’s a Mercury need. Try out these time-tested tips on how to stay connected and clear. Use ’em–they work!

Breathe! Inhale deeply and slowly through your nose. Exhale mindfully and slowly through your mouth. This is especially helpful if you’re feeling agitated, or you’re tempted to simply give a frustrated blart.

Be mindful: notice how you are in the moment—for example, “I notice that I’m going fast right now.  I’m agitated with my friend/partner because I can’t reach or feel him/her.  I think I’ll stop for a minute and give him/her a hug.”

Appreciate: If your pal or honey is bugging you, start thinking about something you appreciate about him/her.  Then notice how your energy  shifts.

Listen from Your Heart: Don’t interrupt the other person, stay present.

a) One person at a time takes a turn speaking while the other one listens.

b) Each person speaks without being interrupted.

c) Speak from your own truth—don’t generalize about or assume anything about what’s true for the other person.

d) Speak from your own perspective (this is a Mercury function).

e) Own your feelings (the Moon).  When you have an opinion about what the other person has said or done, begin your sentence with, “I feel (this way) when you do/say (this thing).”

It is irrelevant whether or not you agree or disagree with what someone is saying. What matters is that you listen carefully and accept what is being said as his or her reality.

Curiosity – If you sense that something is going on with your mate but they’re not saying anything about it, gently ask them if something’s going on for them.  And come from a place of curiosity, not being right or wrong.  If they’re feeling sensitive or insecure, they’ll respond to this loving approach much more readily. (A Mercury function)

I’ve tried this within my own relationships and it really works. It takes some discipline (Saturn) and faith (Jupiter). So if you’re having problems getting on the same page, give it a shot.

Jupiter in Pisces: Telling Your Truth, Dreaming Your Dreams

Mark Twain once said, “If you tell the truth, you never have to remember anything.” What he didn’t add was, “and it won’t always win you popularity contests.”

To ignore truth is dangerous. Politeness can be toxic. I often encourage clients to speak their feelings at the time they feel them, even if they’re not totally clear. It’s okay to begin a sentence with, “I’m sensing something here,” or “What’s true for me is…,” or “What you said just hurt me/made me sad/angry.”

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve participated in groups. They have been my bliss and my folly. Why? Because I didn’t know how to maintain my autonomy within them. Instead I would shut up, agree when I really disagreed and keep my ideas and opinions to myself. Inevitably one of two things would happen: I’d leave, feeling hurt, misunderstood and excluded. Or what I’d kept caged would fly out of my mouth like a wild beast on the rampage.

These days I try to say what I’m feeling when I feel it. I have opinions. I set boundaries. As the community leader of the Northern California Steven Forrest Apprenticeship Program http://www.gossamerrings.com/forrest.php that’s an essential part of the job. Someone inevitably disagrees. I don’t win all of the popularity contests. But I do sleep better at night.

On January 17, 2010 Jupiter, the planet of possibilities and expansion, moved into Pisces. Jupiter is generous. Whatever sign it’s in, wherever it is in your chart, is where you can expand your horizons. If it’s moving through your career sector, you have a better chance to get that dream job. If you’re looking for love, Jupiter opens the hallowed doorway and says, “Look for the best of the best. You don’t have to settle.” In Pisces, Jupiter heralds a time of seeking truth through connection with the divine. Piscean energy brings an awareness of the unity of all things and beings. Pisces is mystical, magical and inspirational.

But here is the shadow of Jupiter in Pisces: you hit the bottle. Lose yourself in romantic fantasy. While away the time with petty distractions (think whipping out the credit card and charging madly away in a delirium of excess). There is the danger of merging rather than emerging as an individual within the whole. Life can turn nightmarish, fraught with bigger-than-life illusions and delusions.

The voice of the sacred speaks differently to each of us. Trust your own interpretation of what you intuit. Jupiter seeks truth and meaning. It breathes this need into the Piscean state, where time becomes irrelevant: music sweeps you away. You stare out at the ocean, mesmerized. You become one with God-force. Poetry, meditation, sleep…they will take you there. Surrender consciously to this state of pure unconsciousness and generous Jupiter doubles your luck. Then healing happens and truth flows into you. And, when you speak out, you share that truth with others. And all are healed.

So trust the intuitive process. Enter into altered states of experience in order to access your highest potential. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day—but it was built on a dream. Therefore, trust your dreams…and dream big.

Want to know more about Jupiter? Check it out at  http://joycevanhorn.wordpress.com/2009/08/31/making-jupiter-work-for-you To find out where your Jupiter is and how to make the most of it, come in for a private session https://joycevanhornsf.com/service.php and I’ll tell you all about it.

Conscious Listening is Active Loving

I admit it, I jump to conclusions. I overlook details. Sometimes I move too quickly. This is the shadow side of my Sagittarian nature, constantly restless, exploratory, on the road to the next adventure. Admittedly, this can have some gypsy magic to it…and it can also drive people nuts.

Listening is a skill associated with the planet Mercury. Paying attention to the details is yet another Mercury function. When we listen, we show that we care, that we have interest in and respect for what others are saying. This demonstrates that we’re truly paying attention.

Most of us have probably had an ultimately frustrating experience like this: You’re sharing a story with a friend that’s important to you. They appear to be paying attention and listening. But when you finish, they look at you blankly. It seems as if they’ve listened, but have actually spaced out instead. Their vacant gaze says it all, or their haste to change the subject. If you’re checking out someone as serious love material, would that response be a turn-on? Not!

Conscious listening requires concentration and discipline. There are a million distractions from sun-up to sun-down. At one point I realized that I couldn’t multi-task anymore. The phone conversations that I used to be able to have while checking email, paying bills or even watering the plants are no longer possible. I wasn’t being fully present. This wasn’t just Sagittarian scatteredness, but the old, bad belief that the person on the other end of the phone wouldn’t notice. When I’d hang up, I wouldn’t be satisfied. The connection hadn’t really been made.

Don’t forget, we’re part animal. Animals know instinctively how to be present. That instinctive part of us tells us if we’re being listened to or not. So even if you find yourself on the receiving end of a conversation with someone who is about as interesting as dirt to you, make their day–for a minute or two, genuinely listen. Ask questions. Take in their answers. There was probably a time in your life when someone felt exactly the same way about you…and perhaps their kindness, their ability to listen, made all of the difference.

The more that we’re heard, the more that we feel connected…to ourselves and others. I know a wonderful man who usually considers himself invisible and unimportant. A group of friends gathered together to celebrate his 60th birthday with a surprise party. He arrived at his apartment that night, arms full of groceries for one, when the lights went on and everyone yelled, “Surprise!”

Here’s the topper: for gifts, each friend had decided to share a memory of why this man was so special to them. Mercury is the storyteller and, as the birthday celebrant listened, he both wept and laughed. He felt seen and acknowledged. Since that birthday, he’s come out of his shell. A woman too shy to approach him before the party was one of the friends who shared. Now they’re together.

So make a difference. Listen. Listen with love. You just might learn something yourself.

Posted By Joyce Van Horn on Wed Oct 7 19:09:21