Tag Archives: Do Tell the game of connection

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Love, Listen, Connect: Practical Tips

Whether you’re in like or in love, words, intentions and gestures get misinterpreted. You’re certain that you’re being clear and the other person looks at you as if you’re speaking Na’ Vi. At that point, there’s disconnection.

We all want to connect. That’s a Venus need. We all want to be understood. That’s a Mercury need. Try out these time-tested tips on how to stay connected and clear. Use ’em–they work!

Breathe! Inhale deeply and slowly through your nose. Exhale mindfully and slowly through your mouth. This is especially helpful if you’re feeling agitated, or you’re tempted to simply give a frustrated blart.

Be mindful: notice how you are in the moment—for example, “I notice that I’m going fast right now.  I’m agitated with my friend/partner because I can’t reach or feel him/her.  I think I’ll stop for a minute and give him/her a hug.”

Appreciate: If your pal or honey is bugging you, start thinking about something you appreciate about him/her.  Then notice how your energy  shifts.

Listen from Your Heart: Don’t interrupt the other person, stay present.

a) One person at a time takes a turn speaking while the other one listens.

b) Each person speaks without being interrupted.

c) Speak from your own truth—don’t generalize about or assume anything about what’s true for the other person.

d) Speak from your own perspective (this is a Mercury function).

e) Own your feelings (the Moon).  When you have an opinion about what the other person has said or done, begin your sentence with, “I feel (this way) when you do/say (this thing).”

It is irrelevant whether or not you agree or disagree with what someone is saying. What matters is that you listen carefully and accept what is being said as his or her reality.

Curiosity – If you sense that something is going on with your mate but they’re not saying anything about it, gently ask them if something’s going on for them.  And come from a place of curiosity, not being right or wrong.  If they’re feeling sensitive or insecure, they’ll respond to this loving approach much more readily. (A Mercury function)

I’ve tried this within my own relationships and it really works. It takes some discipline (Saturn) and faith (Jupiter). So if you’re having problems getting on the same page, give it a shot.

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Jupiter in Pisces: Telling Your Truth, Dreaming Your Dreams

Mark Twain once said, “If you tell the truth, you never have to remember anything.” What he didn’t add was, “and it won’t always win you popularity contests.”

To ignore truth is dangerous. Politeness can be toxic. I often encourage clients to speak their feelings at the time they feel them, even if they’re not totally clear. It’s okay to begin a sentence with, “I’m sensing something here,” or “What’s true for me is…,” or “What you said just hurt me/made me sad/angry.”

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve participated in groups. They have been my bliss and my folly. Why? Because I didn’t know how to maintain my autonomy within them. Instead I would shut up, agree when I really disagreed and keep my ideas and opinions to myself. Inevitably one of two things would happen: I’d leave, feeling hurt, misunderstood and excluded. Or what I’d kept caged would fly out of my mouth like a wild beast on the rampage.

These days I try to say what I’m feeling when I feel it. I have opinions. I set boundaries. As the community leader of the Northern California Steven Forrest Apprenticeship Program http://www.gossamerrings.com/forrest.php that’s an essential part of the job. Someone inevitably disagrees. I don’t win all of the popularity contests. But I do sleep better at night.

On January 17, 2010 Jupiter, the planet of possibilities and expansion, moved into Pisces. Jupiter is generous. Whatever sign it’s in, wherever it is in your chart, is where you can expand your horizons. If it’s moving through your career sector, you have a better chance to get that dream job. If you’re looking for love, Jupiter opens the hallowed doorway and says, “Look for the best of the best. You don’t have to settle.” In Pisces, Jupiter heralds a time of seeking truth through connection with the divine. Piscean energy brings an awareness of the unity of all things and beings. Pisces is mystical, magical and inspirational.

But here is the shadow of Jupiter in Pisces: you hit the bottle. Lose yourself in romantic fantasy. While away the time with petty distractions (think whipping out the credit card and charging madly away in a delirium of excess). There is the danger of merging rather than emerging as an individual within the whole. Life can turn nightmarish, fraught with bigger-than-life illusions and delusions.

The voice of the sacred speaks differently to each of us. Trust your own interpretation of what you intuit. Jupiter seeks truth and meaning. It breathes this need into the Piscean state, where time becomes irrelevant: music sweeps you away. You stare out at the ocean, mesmerized. You become one with God-force. Poetry, meditation, sleep…they will take you there. Surrender consciously to this state of pure unconsciousness and generous Jupiter doubles your luck. Then healing happens and truth flows into you. And, when you speak out, you share that truth with others. And all are healed.

So trust the intuitive process. Enter into altered states of experience in order to access your highest potential. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day—but it was built on a dream. Therefore, trust your dreams…and dream big.

Want to know more about Jupiter? Check it out at  http://joycevanhorn.wordpress.com/2009/08/31/making-jupiter-work-for-you To find out where your Jupiter is and how to make the most of it, come in for a private session https://joycevanhornsf.com/service.php and I’ll tell you all about it.